Me again folks, Well, I got somethin' here that works at least with some humans. So as you all know, my mission in life is to try and get more food. I've discovered a method to getting more food, but it only works on some humans. Not all. Here's what you do. Act starvin'. Now I don't mean just act hungry. I'm talkin', act like you ain't ate in days. Scrounge for food everywhere, not really beg, humans hate beggin' Just every chance you get, look for food. Dasher mom is a perfect example of the kind of human who will fall for this trick. I heard her goin' on and on to my mom yesterday. "Feed her more! She's starving! Poor baby." Here's me laughin' it up. By the time this weeks' over, she will have convinced my mom to up my food quantity. I love it. Yesterday I tried to eat Winston's food. My April caught me though. Man!
I'm still havin' fun though. Lots of people are here now. And mom and my April played with us for a long time in the back yard. There's this new dog here, I don't get him, but he ok I guess. His name's ryley. He cool with humans, but for some reason, he ain't good with dogs. I think he tryin' to establish his spot in the pack. Listen dood. You ain't higher than me or Dasher so stop tryin'. Winston's scared of the fool. Halarious.
Other than that, the humans took us to this place with lots of animals, and there were colored lights up everywhere. It was actually kind of cool. I enjoyed myself. It was kind of cold though. I don't get why humans walk around in the cold lookin' at lights. And they didn't even eat anything. Shock. Not sure what's gunna happen tomorrow. They been so busy this week. I bet we'll be outside a lot again today. Shoot I hope not I'm freezin'! My April still won't let me up on her bed. I froze my butt off last night because I'm layin' on this tie down, no blanket, and the window open right next to me. O there go Reba, hmmmmmmmmmm, why she ain't movin'? Awe such a shame she froze to death. Talk to you later all.
Reba the dog.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Some humans ain't as dumb as I thought
Hi all, well it's been again a while since I posted here. Mom's been busy. Not really sure what with, but I sense change in her life, which means, change in mine too. I been stayin' close to mom and trying to figure it out. As soon as I do, I'll post the details. For now, I'll update you on my happenings. First I'm furious and my stomach is all messed up because a few days ago mom didn't feed me dinner. As if I wasn't starved as it was, she cuts out one of my meals. We flew on one of those planes yesterday and came home. It's been great here so far, accept my stomach is messed up and I'm hungry, And that makes me mad. O well. I've been havin' fun with Dasher, and I been workin' some too. My poor mom and my poor April though. They been workin' their butts off since bein' home. I don't think they've sat down hardly at all. Dasher mom and dad's been keepin' them busy. They all seem to be havin' fun though. I don't think I have to much more to report. Just happy to be here, and out of that aweful airport, and if I could just figure out a way to get more food, this trip would be the best thing ever. I'm workin' on Dasher mom. I can sucker her in to give me food easy. It already worked. Last night I got a piece of cheese out of her. And now I'm super mad at my April! She won't let me on her bed! I'm bout to slap her I mean it! What on earth! I gotta sit my butt on tie down like some puppy while Stress bucket Winston gets to sleep on the bed. My April! I'm mad I mean it. She better not even talk to me I mean it. Given me some woffle about wettin' the bed or somethin'. I even tried to trick her. I mean humans are dumb right? I just acted all distressed like I had to go out. Made sense to me, I been not feelin' well to begin with. So I did that, it allmost worked too. My April let me off my chain, and I flew on her bed in one leap. She wasn't happy. Took me off the bed and put me back in the corner where I been sulkin' ever since. So to all my doggy readers, give that a try with your humans. My April smart, but all humans ain't so there's another way to try gettin' on your humans bed. Least Winston ain't stressin' as much anymore. Shoot yesterday he was like cryin' all over the place. I'm like dood you annoying! Grow up!
Well, be good all, I'll be back atcha soon.
Reba the dog.
Well, be good all, I'll be back atcha soon.
Reba the dog.
Monday, November 17, 2008
This Tops All!
Hi there folks.
I have another post here that tops all for general human dumbness. I mean it. This ranks number 1 right after whatever law humans made that says I only get 2 cups of food a day.
My April comes over one day last week, and puts this collar around my waste. Well, here I am laughing my butt off because I'm thinkin' she lost it. The collar goes around my neck not my waste. So the rest of that day, I wore this thing. I'm like whatever. Well here's where it gets interesting. when mom and I got home from work that night, mom puts a plastic bag on these clips on the collar around my waste. So now, I'm walkin' around with a bag hanggin' from my butt. By now I'm startin' to get confused, but mom gave me lots of praise and played with my toys with me and even gave me a treat.
So the next day, we went a step further. Again, she put on the collar around my waste, and attached a bag to it. Then she takes me outside and tells me to park. I looked at her like she had no brane, then thought fine. You said go, I'll go. Next thing I know, she's takin' the bag off me and praizin' me like no one's business. I then realized what the contraption must be. Some form of relieving harness, so she don't have to pick up my twos. Hmmmmmm. Well, whatever humans wanna do, I really could care less. I just want more food and that monkey. My Emily got me a racoon. I love it! It ain't the monkey, but it's way cool, and Matilda ain't comin' anywhere near it I mean it. Winston neither. I heard what y'all did to that poor monkey. I had it first and would not have destroyed it so fast. I'm signin' out for now folks, I'm tired from walkin' all around a store so the humans could get yet more food. I think mom got me some more yogurt though. Wow! I actually get some of that massive amount of food you bought?
Reba the dog.
I have another post here that tops all for general human dumbness. I mean it. This ranks number 1 right after whatever law humans made that says I only get 2 cups of food a day.
My April comes over one day last week, and puts this collar around my waste. Well, here I am laughing my butt off because I'm thinkin' she lost it. The collar goes around my neck not my waste. So the rest of that day, I wore this thing. I'm like whatever. Well here's where it gets interesting. when mom and I got home from work that night, mom puts a plastic bag on these clips on the collar around my waste. So now, I'm walkin' around with a bag hanggin' from my butt. By now I'm startin' to get confused, but mom gave me lots of praise and played with my toys with me and even gave me a treat.
So the next day, we went a step further. Again, she put on the collar around my waste, and attached a bag to it. Then she takes me outside and tells me to park. I looked at her like she had no brane, then thought fine. You said go, I'll go. Next thing I know, she's takin' the bag off me and praizin' me like no one's business. I then realized what the contraption must be. Some form of relieving harness, so she don't have to pick up my twos. Hmmmmmm. Well, whatever humans wanna do, I really could care less. I just want more food and that monkey. My Emily got me a racoon. I love it! It ain't the monkey, but it's way cool, and Matilda ain't comin' anywhere near it I mean it. Winston neither. I heard what y'all did to that poor monkey. I had it first and would not have destroyed it so fast. I'm signin' out for now folks, I'm tired from walkin' all around a store so the humans could get yet more food. I think mom got me some more yogurt though. Wow! I actually get some of that massive amount of food you bought?
Reba the dog.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Attention All Dogs
Hey everyone.
This was sent to my mom and she laughed a whole lot at it. I had to take a look at it too. Boy let me tell you it's funny. And to all my doggy readers, these work. I've tried several of them and gotten so many good laughs out of them. Enjoy all.
Mind Games Dogs Play With Humans
After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if it's right before your humans bedtime.
Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. (Note: This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.
Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go 'pee', sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.
Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go 'poo'. Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.
When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.
Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.
Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you. (Don't reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears).
When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.
Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!)
Reba the dog.
This was sent to my mom and she laughed a whole lot at it. I had to take a look at it too. Boy let me tell you it's funny. And to all my doggy readers, these work. I've tried several of them and gotten so many good laughs out of them. Enjoy all.
Mind Games Dogs Play With Humans
After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if it's right before your humans bedtime.
Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. (Note: This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.
Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go 'pee', sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.
Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go 'poo'. Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.
When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.
Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.
Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you. (Don't reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears).
When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.
Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!)
Reba the dog.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Catching up
Hi to my faithful readers. Reba here again. I know, I know, I haven't posted in a while, but to be honest, it ain't my falt. Mom's been busy and so she's gotta pay for that now cuz I got lots to say. First today's national give Reba presents and extra food and treats day. Or otherwise known as, Reba's birthday. Actually the wonderful day was yesterday, but mom's postin' this today for me. Mom's been spoilin' me all day. She gave me two frosty paws, and she gave me a ducky in a new toy ball. It was rubber and she put the ducky inside it. Man I had tons of fun throwing it around, shakin' it, kickin' it, trying everything I could to get those duckies out of there. I destroyed the toy too. I win! Mom was all sad that I did so. Wasn't I supposed to destroy it mom? Anyway least I got the food out finally. Then I got a present from my Karen. It looks like a big long hot dog with a dog's head and feet on it. It squeeks too. So I had tons of fun playin' with that. And I got another present, I think it was from my April. It's this bone, I've had it before. It's a rubber bone. I was all excited about that too. So that was cool. Then my Emily! She told me she'd get me a monkey and she lied to me! I sniffed and sniffed around lookin' for that promised monkey. Man! I will find that monkey and I will get one. I'm so disappointed. My Emily lied to me. Mom says I should be nice and greatful for the stuff I did get and that Emily just forgot cuz she was busy. But come on! My Emily said she'd get me a monkey! And she remembered Matilda's birthday! Shoot I'm better than Matilda I mean it! Winston's so sweet. I came chargin' in my April room lookin' for her and he was lyin' on my April bed and I hear him say all sweetly, "Hi Reba, oish, Happy birthday!" I'm like awe Winston! Again, he precious.
The next thing I wanna update about, since this thing is called people are dumb, let me just tell you how dumb people are. So this past weekend, my April came over like always, and that's when stuff started gettin' weird. Winston and I couldn't figure it out. Mom was goin' around, changing all the lights in the house. She was makin' them dimmer. They were different colors. I looked at Winston like ok they can't see well to begin with, now they make all the lights dimmer? They out of their heads. So I followed mom around, tryin' to figure out what she was doin'. Well after mom got off of work, we went to the store, and mom was so stressed out it was makin' me nervous. She wasn't when we first started, but we was with my Emily and my Rachel and My Karen, and they was all in a hurry, and it was makin' my mom stressed. I felt bad for her. So mom got home rather frazzled and me, I went to bed cuz I was tired from the humans goin' around in a state of high nerves. So I'm in my crate, sound asleep, mom and my April are out on their computers, when all the sudden, in comes my mom, she turns up the radio so stinkin' loud that I'm like woe! And she goes skippin' out the room yelling somethin' about christmas music. Meanwhile, she leaves me lyin' in my crate half deaf from the noise. I mean it! So finally that calms down and we move to Saturday. My Rachel Odum came to visit. I was so excited to see her again. We all went out so the humans could eat, and then it was back home and mom was decoratin' again. I finally came to the conclusion that she was havin' some sort of party or somethin'. Winston wasn't happy about it. He was stressed all day. Kept wantin' attention and bein' all clingy and stuff, annoying. Sure enough, people started showin' up and in no time, mom's house was packed. All of them wearin' funny clothes, and even us dogs were warin' shirts. The noise level increased and the rest of the evening, I just tried to stay out of the way. Winston stressed himself in to solitary confinement, I found him mumblin' incoherently to himself alone in my April room. Couldn't get a response out of him. Matilda took it all in stride. Least she wasn't runnin' around like a mad hatter addin' to the chaos like she normally do I mean it. Finally, they all went home, and I again saught the quiet of my crate in my mom's dark room. Least this time she didn't come blare me out with whatever Christmas music is. I think that's all I have to discuss at the moment. mom's house is back to normal again, and I guess I'm now a year older. I'm seven years old now. Which means I'm about 50 years old in human years I guess. Guess that's about right for the gray on my chin that everyone and their mother feels the need to point out now. Leave me alone! Well, y'all behave yourselves. I'm goin' away for now. Gunna go play with one of my new toys.
Reba the dog.
The next thing I wanna update about, since this thing is called people are dumb, let me just tell you how dumb people are. So this past weekend, my April came over like always, and that's when stuff started gettin' weird. Winston and I couldn't figure it out. Mom was goin' around, changing all the lights in the house. She was makin' them dimmer. They were different colors. I looked at Winston like ok they can't see well to begin with, now they make all the lights dimmer? They out of their heads. So I followed mom around, tryin' to figure out what she was doin'. Well after mom got off of work, we went to the store, and mom was so stressed out it was makin' me nervous. She wasn't when we first started, but we was with my Emily and my Rachel and My Karen, and they was all in a hurry, and it was makin' my mom stressed. I felt bad for her. So mom got home rather frazzled and me, I went to bed cuz I was tired from the humans goin' around in a state of high nerves. So I'm in my crate, sound asleep, mom and my April are out on their computers, when all the sudden, in comes my mom, she turns up the radio so stinkin' loud that I'm like woe! And she goes skippin' out the room yelling somethin' about christmas music. Meanwhile, she leaves me lyin' in my crate half deaf from the noise. I mean it! So finally that calms down and we move to Saturday. My Rachel Odum came to visit. I was so excited to see her again. We all went out so the humans could eat, and then it was back home and mom was decoratin' again. I finally came to the conclusion that she was havin' some sort of party or somethin'. Winston wasn't happy about it. He was stressed all day. Kept wantin' attention and bein' all clingy and stuff, annoying. Sure enough, people started showin' up and in no time, mom's house was packed. All of them wearin' funny clothes, and even us dogs were warin' shirts. The noise level increased and the rest of the evening, I just tried to stay out of the way. Winston stressed himself in to solitary confinement, I found him mumblin' incoherently to himself alone in my April room. Couldn't get a response out of him. Matilda took it all in stride. Least she wasn't runnin' around like a mad hatter addin' to the chaos like she normally do I mean it. Finally, they all went home, and I again saught the quiet of my crate in my mom's dark room. Least this time she didn't come blare me out with whatever Christmas music is. I think that's all I have to discuss at the moment. mom's house is back to normal again, and I guess I'm now a year older. I'm seven years old now. Which means I'm about 50 years old in human years I guess. Guess that's about right for the gray on my chin that everyone and their mother feels the need to point out now. Leave me alone! Well, y'all behave yourselves. I'm goin' away for now. Gunna go play with one of my new toys.
Reba the dog.
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