The world is mine

Hey again all. This is just a message to tell you mine and Winston's new nicknames. He's pinky and I'm the brain. Now first it's for obvious reasons. His nose is getting pinker, and I'm the brains of the opporation. But like that popular show you humans like, I never did get the fasination you humans have with that box with movin' pictures and sounds comin' out of it. I tried to watch some of it the other night, and I just don't get it. Anyway, Brain on the show is always tryin' to come up with ways to destroy the world as we know it. And though I don't wanna destroy the world, I do wanna take it over. And if I did, here's what I'd do. It's Reba's political spin here. And it's free so listen up.

First, all dogs could eat what they wanted, and as much as they wanted. I mean, humans go to eating establishments and what do they do. They get a book of choices, ask the wait staff for somethin' and all eat somethin' different. Well dogs will get to do that too. Not the same old stuff day in and day out. Granted, all of us are on different foods, but let's face it, it's all the same after a while. I mean it.

Second, there's an old saying, cats have staff, well dogs would too. Who says cats get to have all the fun. Cats are annoying anyways.

Third, and this one is especially for me, I'd have my own bed. Now I ain't talkin' about my crate which I love dearly. But I'm talkin' a bed like my mom's bed that would be all my own. And all the people who have turned on me and won't let me on their beds anymore, you ain't aloud on my bed either.

So, those are just a few things I'm thinkin' of changin'. I have several other ideas in the works, but eat your heart out Mr. President Barack Obama, cuz Reba's comin' from the back streets and she's gunna take over this place! If I could just get all the dogs in the world behind me. Y'all quit playin' and sniffin' and stuff. Let's put our heads together and overthrow the humans.

 

Reba the dog for president.

 

Score!

Well all, it finally happened. I still think I'm dreamin', but it keeps happenin' every day. Mom finally woke up and is feedin' me more. I don't know who to thank for this miracle. Dasher mom? my Rachel? My Karen? My April? Maybe all y'all. So I humbly thank you from the bottom of this labby heart. Cuz whatever y'all said, mom finally is tryin' it. I still feel like I died and went to heaven. I ain't even been askin' for duckies in a few days. Not since Saturday have I even asked for a ducky. Those are my treats by the way and if I just had thumbs I could open that dog shaped jar mom keeps them in and have a party.

I also wanted to tell y'all about this super cute baby I saw on Sunday. Now for those of you who know me well, you know I normally don't like kids all that much. I can't trust them, and unless they have food in their hands, I try and avoid them. But deep down, I've always had a soft spot for little tiny humans, you know the kind that can't even walk yet? Well I saw the cutest one on Sunday and man I just about took him home with me. We were out in the lobby waitin' for my Karen and my Rebecca and I took mom right over to the baby cuz he and eye made eye contact. Then I sniffed and sniffed. Mom pulled me back though. I'm sorry mom but that baby was just too cute. I couldn't resist him! See, I do have a heart sometimes, I have a soft side, and I was showin' it on Sunday. I kept hearing people say how sweet I looked. Now I'm back to my grumpy self though.

O and by the way, my Rachel, I'm mad at you cuz you was droppin' stuff all over me tonight. Ok y'all, here I be, mindin' my own, I get up and am gettin' ready to lead mom out of the place where they were eatin' dinner, All the sudden somethin' hits my back. Then I walk forward and I hear somethin' else fall. I look back and there my Rachel is droppin' stuff. Excuse me! I'm hear you know. Goodness! Humans have no sense of us dogs. We put up with so much as guides. Gettin' stepped on, kicked, shuvved under this or that, stuff droppin' all over us, food droppin' on the floor and we ain't even aloud to touch it? Sure it's all accidental. That's what they say. I say, (insert labby moan) But you know what, it's all worth it cuz I'm gettin' more food, I'm gettin' more food! And mom loves me. So I'm signin' out now cuz mom wants the computer back. She should just go to bed, but she drank mountain dew and slept a bit while we were on campus, so she's wide awake over there. I'm off to my crate. Sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I can get up and eat again. Behave all.

 

Reba the dog.

 

Bit of catch up

Jeeze mom! Did ya have to put ketchup in the title? Yeh yeh yeh, I know it says catch up, but come on!

Well, hello to all my faithful readers. I know it's been a while since I last wrote on here. I have two things to report.

First, this should prove to you all how humans are not only dumb, they're torturous! So one day while we were in Ohio, all of us loaded in the truck and drove for a long time. When we got out, mom and my April harnessed up Winston and myself, and we went in to this store. The smells comin' from this store about nocked me over. Shoot If smellin' was eatin', I'd of eaten a ton I mean it. But hey, I'm a leaderdog, I'm supposed to ignore stuff like that right? I go in to restaurants and other eating establishments just fine. Being a leaderdog has it's perks, but this is not one of them. Practicing self control when there's food everywhere! Here comes the torture. Dasher mom takes my mom over to this rack. Then they start samplin' this food. And it's all meet! Mom! Come on! Some of that meet I can have surely! "Leave it Reba." O shut up mom! You leave it and let me at it! They kept movin' all around the store, literally eatin' this and that. I'm like y'all act like you ain't never tried pop corn before! It was the worst experience of my life. I was so glad to get outa there. So you all see, bein' a service dog isn't all it's cracked up to be at times.

Now on to my second thing to report. This one's about, again the sheer dumbness of humans. Don't even try and tell me dumbness ain't a word either. Cuz it is when I say it.

This happened twice to me. I was walkin' with my mom, mindin' my own, bein' good actually. Mom said find the door, so I did, and all the sudden, bang! Some fool come flyin' out, ain't lookin' where they goin' Excuse me! No that's allright, keep walkin' I just got a broken nose here! I hate people! Then it happened again a few days later! Same sinario, I was again bein' good, bang! You gotta be kiddin' me! Ok now that I don't have a face! Mom, you readin' this, cuz I better be gettin' lots of food rewards for puttin' up with what I do for you. I put my life on the line for you! Man! So anyway, the antics of humans never stop. Things haven't changed much on this end. We're in South Carolina and Dasher mom is leavin' soon cuz I saw her packin' up her stuff. Shoot. My last opportunity to get more food. Come on my Rachel! Ya gotta take over since my Dasher mom is leavin'. Well, I'm gunna go try once again to get a ducky out of mom or my Dasher mom. I almost got the lid off them treats of mine the other day. I gotta keep tryin'. O one other thing, I got to go to petsmart the other day and boy was that fun! Mom only had to correct me once too when this german shepherd thought he'd make fun of my gray chin. Listen pal, just because you a shepherd don't mean you can just do or say what you want. Crack! "Reba no!" O if my mom wasn't at the end of this leash, don't you dare laugh at me. "Reba, I said," Yeh yeh I heard ya mom I'm just, O forget it. He ain't worth my time anyways. You all be good, I will do the same. Though I don't see what good it does, I'm still hungry. Till next time.

 

Reba the dog.

 

 

I'm bored

Hey folks,

Well, you can tell from the title, I'm indeed bored. And when Reba gets bored, what does she do? Well in my younger days I'd go find somethin' of the humans to destroy. That was always good for a laugh. Sure I got in trouble for it, but I say it was worth it for the fun. But, now I'm older and wiser, and I really don't want mom or anybody mad at me, so, I have an idea here for those of you who get bored. First, act like you gotta go outside. This is easy, just pase back and forth around the door. The human, usually sittin' on the couch eatin' in front of that tube, will then get up, thinkin' awe! What a good dog lettin' me know it needs to go outside. Score! As soon as you get outside, turn around and stare at the human again. They have returned to their seat on the couch, food already back in hand. Now you give the I'm sad look, let me in look. Now ya gotta time this just right, cuz what you want is for the human to stand up again. As soon as they do, you've won for the second time. Trot away in to the yard like nevermind I gotta go after all. I love this. I been doin' it for a few days now and just to get the humans off their fat butts and away from the food is fun enough to keep bordum away least for a little while. Only thing that would make it more fun would be if Winston could do it, and I could swoop in and snarf the abandoned food when the humans stand up. Ah well. This will have to do. I guess I'll go for now, Dasher is playin' with my April with a miniature tennis ball. Shoot! I want that thing! My April! Give me a turn! She ain't listenin' to me. Y'all behave out there.

 

Reba the dog.

 

What happened?

Hey everyone, forgive this post if it's a bit incoherent. I've been through an interesting ordeal, and I'm still tryin' to put it together. So this mornin', dad comes in and wakes my mom up and says some stuff to her. Well, she gets up, and takes me out to park. Now it's still kind of dark outside. So I'm like what on earth! But I went, and came back in all ready for my food with yogurt on it! Come on mom, hand it over! Nope, mom hands my leash to dad, and he takes me out the door. What? Where we goin' dad? Mom ain't even dressed! And she hugged me and told me she loved me and to be a good girl. Where'm I goin'? Well, in a few minutes I found out. Dad was takin' me to the vet. Ok, not a problem, I seem to live at vets a lot. Well, then he hands my leash to a stranger and leaves! Now I'm freekin'. My mom! Where's my mom! She don't know I'm with strangers I bet. These people took me back and put me in a crate. Like I'm some pup from the pound. Excuse me, I'm a service dog hello! They ain't listenin' to me. There ain't even any treats in this place. After a while, another person came to get me and I went with them in to a room. There they exammoned my teeth. Yes that tooth is cracked don't you dare touch it! Well this is where it gets fuzzy cuz they gave me a shot, and next thing I knew, I was back in the crate, sort of heavy feelin' and there were strange noises around me. Still no food I thought sleepily, and my tooth feels funny. I slept off and on then for I don't know how long. I dreamed of food, and my mom, and wondered what on earth had been done to me. Well finally, after watching other dogs come and go in other crates and wonderin' if I'd ever get to get out, someone came for me. They took me to a room, and there was my April and Winston, and O mom! Mom was there to save me! I jumped almost up in her lap! She was so happy to see me and me too. I was like get me home, feed me, get me outa here I mean it! So we got home and I had to pee like no one's business. Afterwards, I walked inside and sniffed hopefully at my food dish. Mom, in case you haven't noticed, you didn't feed me yet today. She didn't listen to me. She tried to get me to lie down and relax and rest, but I'm like no mom! I want food! I been lyin' all day! Finally, she feeds me and o man did I eat. She gave me wet food which is a delectible creation let me tell you. Shoot I thought I died and went to heaven. So after my belly was finally full, mom put me on tie down and I slept. It was relaxing finally being in my own bed. I woke up later and felt all warm and tired still. I still am not sure what all happened, accept my tooth is fixed, and the rest of my teeth feel cleaner. That's cool. Shoot did ya have to nock me out to do that. My word! Hope everyone out there is doin' well, o and mom says I should welcome my new readers since I haven't in a while and I have new ones. So welcome, thanks for listenin' and there I did my humanly duty of bein' nice. I'm off to continue being a butthead.

 

Reba the dog.

 

Happy Newyear

Ok so that title, mom put that in for free. I don't even know what Happy Newyear means. Seemes like yet another excuse for the humans to eat and stay up late yellin' while I'm tryin' to sleep. The cool thing though, Dasher mom gave us apples. Man she cool! Apples, carrots, cheese, this place is sweet! Ok so now on to what I really wanted to post about. So as you all know, for the past several weeks, I've been tryin' my absolute hardest to get on beds. I'm old, I'm bony cuz mom starves me, keep workin' on her Dasher mom. She'll cave keep goin'. Anyways, I believe I've figured out a way to get myself on the bed. It's taking some time, but it's gunna be worth it let me tell ya.

So my April, she's the smart human. She closes her door now when she's not around so I can't get on her bed. So my first task is to get her to leave that door open again. A few times I have been shut in there on accident, and instead of getting on the bed like I used too, I stay off. I lay by the door or somethin'. Well then my mom and my April come in and check the bed for a warm spot. Then I get praised up big time for not gettin' on the bed. See where I'm goin' now? You gotta build up the trust of the humans, eventually they will crack and say, you know, I think Reba's got it, we can leave the doors open, she won't get on the beds anymore. Score! I'll be on that bed snuggled in the pillows before you can even blink! Life is about patience I've learned, good things come to those who wait.

So not much else to report all, I actually got to do some work the other day in the mall. That was fun and I was a good leaderdog. We went to a place for the humans to eat too and I layed on the floor like a good girl, only reaching once to sniff hopefully at somethin' on the floor. Crack! Ah! Mom what in the world! Anyway! We went in the pet store and that stupid mom of mine made me work through the store. Shoot I was mad. She doesn't do that much! And she put on my gentle leader again too half way through all cuz I just wanted to say hi to the cats. Excuse me! Whatever. Well I better go before I really get riled up. I'm goin' to play in the snow again with the boys. Y'all be good.

 

Reba the dog.