This Tops All!

Hi there folks.
I have another post here that tops all for general human dumbness. I mean it. This ranks number 1 right after whatever law humans made that says I only get 2 cups of food a day.
My April comes over one day last week, and puts this collar around my waste. Well, here I am laughing my butt off because I'm thinkin' she lost it. The collar goes around my neck not my waste. So the rest of that day, I wore this thing. I'm like whatever. Well here's where it gets interesting. when mom and I got home from work that night, mom puts a plastic bag on these clips on the collar around my waste. So now, I'm walkin' around with a bag hanggin' from my butt. By now I'm startin' to get confused, but mom gave me lots of praise and played with my toys with me and even gave me a treat.
So the next day, we went a step further. Again, she put on the collar around my waste, and attached a bag to it. Then she takes me outside and tells me to park. I looked at her like she had no brane, then thought fine. You said go, I'll go. Next thing I know, she's takin' the bag off me and praizin' me like no one's business. I then realized what the contraption must be. Some form of relieving harness, so she don't have to pick up my twos. Hmmmmmm. Well, whatever humans wanna do, I really could care less. I just want more food and that monkey. My Emily got me a racoon. I love it! It ain't the monkey, but it's way cool, and Matilda ain't comin' anywhere near it I mean it. Winston neither. I heard what y'all did to that poor monkey. I had it first and would not have destroyed it so fast. I'm signin' out for now folks, I'm tired from walkin' all around a store so the humans could get yet more food. I think mom got me some more yogurt though. Wow! I actually get some of that massive amount of food you bought?

Reba the dog.