Ok all, that title sort of suggests that I want a new mom, but actually, she really doesn't have much to do with this rant. Maybe it should be, I want a new family.
Ok so the last few days, mom's been goin' to these meetin's. Long, borin' stretches of endless dronin' on and on and on. She enjoyed herself, me, well I got lots of sleepin' in that's for sure. I'm super annoyed though because of how I'm treated during these meetin's. Mom tells me to lay down, so I do. Well, as the meetin' progresses, I start to spread out. And I scoot farther away from mom. Why? Well number 1 I have a reputation to uphold and I don't really have any desire to be that close to my mom. Number 2, I get stepped on more easily when I'm right next to her. But does mom think of this? No! And my Dasher mom ain't no help. She'll lean over and tell my mom, "You might wanna pull Reba in closer she's way out there." O no! I think, Next thing I know, I'm goin' for an unwanted ride across the floor. Sometimes this ride happens when I'm dead asleep and not expectin' it! Shoot ma! I ain't a sack of grain! And that harness ain't a handle you can use to just yank me around with! I mean it! She did that so much to me this weekend. Includin' just this mornin'. So what do I do? Well, I do what any self respecting stubborn lab with attitude should do. I shoot a few glares in mom's direction, make sure to send some to my Dasher mom too, and I move away again. Then mom and I have a battle of, I want you here, stay! And no ma! I wanna be over here leave me alone! Well in the end we compremise with me bein' somewhere in the middle. Not as far away as I was, but not quite as close as mom would like. All the while, I'm also shootin' pleedin' looks at the folks around us. Please, I want a new home! This ain't fair. This mornin', the humans go to stand, and my Dasher mom stepped on my ear! Aow! Shoot! Does no one see why I try to stay far away from humans feet? So I was quite miffed needless to say. I ended up alternatin' between looks of annoyance, to looks of, someone please take me away and feed me bags and bags of food. I know it was an accident. Humans don't mean to hurt us dogs, but I do wish they'd quit with the battles they start with where I'm supposed to lay. They say I'm in people's way. Too bad! Go around me I ain't that big shoot!
Well, that's my rant. Other than that, things have been great. My Dasher dad, he gave me a carrot the other day. Sweet! Now he ain't just Dasher dad, he my Dasher dad! Me and the rat are gettin' along fine. Once we established grounds the first few days, we been fine ever since. Still can't figure out how she gets so much people food. Though I been gettin' apples and carrots a lot this week. But that Rat gets chicken and beef and stuff! Dasher got really sick cuz he was sneakin' some of it too. Dude he was sick for 2 or 3 days. I got some of the rats food too, and it was loaded with stuff I'm alergic to. O well. I already got an ear infection, I should be able to eat what I want when I get one of those. Like I said, things have been quiet round here. Mom and my Dasher mom went shopping one day, and I was good workin' in the store. Accept mom slammed her face in to one of those racks that clothes hang on, I cringed cuz I thought she was gunna pop me, and she almost did, then she realized it was her own dumb butt falt cuz she wasn't holdin' my handle. I guess I better go now, I'm currently lyin' on the nice cool wood floor hoggin' one of the air vents. O yeh, life's good. Go away Dasher! Go find your own vent. What are you lookin' at rat. Y'all behave yourselves, I'll be back soon.
Reba the dog.
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