Bit of catch up

Jeeze mom! Did ya have to put ketchup in the title? Yeh yeh yeh, I know it says catch up, but come on!

Well, hello to all my faithful readers. I know it's been a while since I last wrote on here. I have two things to report.

First, this should prove to you all how humans are not only dumb, they're torturous! So one day while we were in Ohio, all of us loaded in the truck and drove for a long time. When we got out, mom and my April harnessed up Winston and myself, and we went in to this store. The smells comin' from this store about nocked me over. Shoot If smellin' was eatin', I'd of eaten a ton I mean it. But hey, I'm a leaderdog, I'm supposed to ignore stuff like that right? I go in to restaurants and other eating establishments just fine. Being a leaderdog has it's perks, but this is not one of them. Practicing self control when there's food everywhere! Here comes the torture. Dasher mom takes my mom over to this rack. Then they start samplin' this food. And it's all meet! Mom! Come on! Some of that meet I can have surely! "Leave it Reba." O shut up mom! You leave it and let me at it! They kept movin' all around the store, literally eatin' this and that. I'm like y'all act like you ain't never tried pop corn before! It was the worst experience of my life. I was so glad to get outa there. So you all see, bein' a service dog isn't all it's cracked up to be at times.

Now on to my second thing to report. This one's about, again the sheer dumbness of humans. Don't even try and tell me dumbness ain't a word either. Cuz it is when I say it.

This happened twice to me. I was walkin' with my mom, mindin' my own, bein' good actually. Mom said find the door, so I did, and all the sudden, bang! Some fool come flyin' out, ain't lookin' where they goin' Excuse me! No that's allright, keep walkin' I just got a broken nose here! I hate people! Then it happened again a few days later! Same sinario, I was again bein' good, bang! You gotta be kiddin' me! Ok now that I don't have a face! Mom, you readin' this, cuz I better be gettin' lots of food rewards for puttin' up with what I do for you. I put my life on the line for you! Man! So anyway, the antics of humans never stop. Things haven't changed much on this end. We're in South Carolina and Dasher mom is leavin' soon cuz I saw her packin' up her stuff. Shoot. My last opportunity to get more food. Come on my Rachel! Ya gotta take over since my Dasher mom is leavin'. Well, I'm gunna go try once again to get a ducky out of mom or my Dasher mom. I almost got the lid off them treats of mine the other day. I gotta keep tryin'. O one other thing, I got to go to petsmart the other day and boy was that fun! Mom only had to correct me once too when this german shepherd thought he'd make fun of my gray chin. Listen pal, just because you a shepherd don't mean you can just do or say what you want. Crack! "Reba no!" O if my mom wasn't at the end of this leash, don't you dare laugh at me. "Reba, I said," Yeh yeh I heard ya mom I'm just, O forget it. He ain't worth my time anyways. You all be good, I will do the same. Though I don't see what good it does, I'm still hungry. Till next time.

 

Reba the dog.

 

 

I'm bored

Hey folks,

Well, you can tell from the title, I'm indeed bored. And when Reba gets bored, what does she do? Well in my younger days I'd go find somethin' of the humans to destroy. That was always good for a laugh. Sure I got in trouble for it, but I say it was worth it for the fun. But, now I'm older and wiser, and I really don't want mom or anybody mad at me, so, I have an idea here for those of you who get bored. First, act like you gotta go outside. This is easy, just pase back and forth around the door. The human, usually sittin' on the couch eatin' in front of that tube, will then get up, thinkin' awe! What a good dog lettin' me know it needs to go outside. Score! As soon as you get outside, turn around and stare at the human again. They have returned to their seat on the couch, food already back in hand. Now you give the I'm sad look, let me in look. Now ya gotta time this just right, cuz what you want is for the human to stand up again. As soon as they do, you've won for the second time. Trot away in to the yard like nevermind I gotta go after all. I love this. I been doin' it for a few days now and just to get the humans off their fat butts and away from the food is fun enough to keep bordum away least for a little while. Only thing that would make it more fun would be if Winston could do it, and I could swoop in and snarf the abandoned food when the humans stand up. Ah well. This will have to do. I guess I'll go for now, Dasher is playin' with my April with a miniature tennis ball. Shoot! I want that thing! My April! Give me a turn! She ain't listenin' to me. Y'all behave out there.

 

Reba the dog.

 

What happened?

Hey everyone, forgive this post if it's a bit incoherent. I've been through an interesting ordeal, and I'm still tryin' to put it together. So this mornin', dad comes in and wakes my mom up and says some stuff to her. Well, she gets up, and takes me out to park. Now it's still kind of dark outside. So I'm like what on earth! But I went, and came back in all ready for my food with yogurt on it! Come on mom, hand it over! Nope, mom hands my leash to dad, and he takes me out the door. What? Where we goin' dad? Mom ain't even dressed! And she hugged me and told me she loved me and to be a good girl. Where'm I goin'? Well, in a few minutes I found out. Dad was takin' me to the vet. Ok, not a problem, I seem to live at vets a lot. Well, then he hands my leash to a stranger and leaves! Now I'm freekin'. My mom! Where's my mom! She don't know I'm with strangers I bet. These people took me back and put me in a crate. Like I'm some pup from the pound. Excuse me, I'm a service dog hello! They ain't listenin' to me. There ain't even any treats in this place. After a while, another person came to get me and I went with them in to a room. There they exammoned my teeth. Yes that tooth is cracked don't you dare touch it! Well this is where it gets fuzzy cuz they gave me a shot, and next thing I knew, I was back in the crate, sort of heavy feelin' and there were strange noises around me. Still no food I thought sleepily, and my tooth feels funny. I slept off and on then for I don't know how long. I dreamed of food, and my mom, and wondered what on earth had been done to me. Well finally, after watching other dogs come and go in other crates and wonderin' if I'd ever get to get out, someone came for me. They took me to a room, and there was my April and Winston, and O mom! Mom was there to save me! I jumped almost up in her lap! She was so happy to see me and me too. I was like get me home, feed me, get me outa here I mean it! So we got home and I had to pee like no one's business. Afterwards, I walked inside and sniffed hopefully at my food dish. Mom, in case you haven't noticed, you didn't feed me yet today. She didn't listen to me. She tried to get me to lie down and relax and rest, but I'm like no mom! I want food! I been lyin' all day! Finally, she feeds me and o man did I eat. She gave me wet food which is a delectible creation let me tell you. Shoot I thought I died and went to heaven. So after my belly was finally full, mom put me on tie down and I slept. It was relaxing finally being in my own bed. I woke up later and felt all warm and tired still. I still am not sure what all happened, accept my tooth is fixed, and the rest of my teeth feel cleaner. That's cool. Shoot did ya have to nock me out to do that. My word! Hope everyone out there is doin' well, o and mom says I should welcome my new readers since I haven't in a while and I have new ones. So welcome, thanks for listenin' and there I did my humanly duty of bein' nice. I'm off to continue being a butthead.

 

Reba the dog.

 

Happy Newyear

Ok so that title, mom put that in for free. I don't even know what Happy Newyear means. Seemes like yet another excuse for the humans to eat and stay up late yellin' while I'm tryin' to sleep. The cool thing though, Dasher mom gave us apples. Man she cool! Apples, carrots, cheese, this place is sweet! Ok so now on to what I really wanted to post about. So as you all know, for the past several weeks, I've been tryin' my absolute hardest to get on beds. I'm old, I'm bony cuz mom starves me, keep workin' on her Dasher mom. She'll cave keep goin'. Anyways, I believe I've figured out a way to get myself on the bed. It's taking some time, but it's gunna be worth it let me tell ya.

So my April, she's the smart human. She closes her door now when she's not around so I can't get on her bed. So my first task is to get her to leave that door open again. A few times I have been shut in there on accident, and instead of getting on the bed like I used too, I stay off. I lay by the door or somethin'. Well then my mom and my April come in and check the bed for a warm spot. Then I get praised up big time for not gettin' on the bed. See where I'm goin' now? You gotta build up the trust of the humans, eventually they will crack and say, you know, I think Reba's got it, we can leave the doors open, she won't get on the beds anymore. Score! I'll be on that bed snuggled in the pillows before you can even blink! Life is about patience I've learned, good things come to those who wait.

So not much else to report all, I actually got to do some work the other day in the mall. That was fun and I was a good leaderdog. We went to a place for the humans to eat too and I layed on the floor like a good girl, only reaching once to sniff hopefully at somethin' on the floor. Crack! Ah! Mom what in the world! Anyway! We went in the pet store and that stupid mom of mine made me work through the store. Shoot I was mad. She doesn't do that much! And she put on my gentle leader again too half way through all cuz I just wanted to say hi to the cats. Excuse me! Whatever. Well I better go before I really get riled up. I'm goin' to play in the snow again with the boys. Y'all be good.

 

Reba the dog.

 

 

 

Humans are so embarrassing

Hey all,

So my mom and I are still home here in Ohio. This is cool! We ain't stayed this long since I don't even remember. Yesterday, my Dasher mom was sick so we had to be quiet. Well Winston the big ofe don't even know what quiet means. He all grabbin' me and snortin' and sneezin' and stuff, I'm just tryin' to defend myself. Well, after several attempts by my mom and my April to shut him up to no avail, they decided to take us for a walk to release our energy. Well that was exciting till mom busted out my gentle leader. Shoot! I hate that thing! So embarrasing! So mom puts it on my face, and hooks a really really short leash to it so I can't pull at all. I'm like o please don't let me see anyone I know. Didn't even give me a chance to see if I'd behave right. Shoot I thought this was gunna be a fun rompin' walk with mom. If you don't want me releasin' my energy, mide as well put on my harness and we'll just work down the street. Humans these days. So, I'd of been fine if we didn't see anyone. O no, we weren't walkin' five minutes before two little rodants who call themselves dogs came tearing out at us. One barkin' like mad, the other tryin' to get a piece of me or somethin'. He wasn't barkin' or growlin', just all in my face. So we got away from them, and kept walkin'. Then we saw two other dogs, these were bigger. What is this dog off leash day? I want off this leash I mean it! I cried to let mom know this too. She ignored me as always. Whatever. So we headed home next, it was super windy out and it was trash day, so trash cans were blowin' everywhere and I had to keep takin' mom around them. That was free mom. I ain't even workin' here. I better get an extra cup of food or somethin'. Nope, no such luck. I'm so under appreciated. Mom gives me hugs and stuff, but what I want is food! A whole bag of it! I'll just keep tryin'. Hope you all are doin' well. Until next time.

 

Reba the dog.

 

Merry Christmas

Well hello again all, This is a day late, but o well. I just wanna say Merry Christmas to all my faithful readers. Not really sure what Christmas is, but it means give presents to Reba day. Well, my Dasher and my Winston got presents too, so it must be give all dogs presents day. I got two new bones, and a cool toy like Matilda's. It looks like an egg. And mom stuffed it with food and o boy was that fun. I got carots too. I been eatin' carots a lot since I been home. Not much else happened today. My mom and my April opened new things, and they all ate a huge meal cuz again, that's what humans do. My Dasher got a new bed, I got to lay in his old one while the humans all watched a loud movie. I slept through most of it. So this is just to say Merry Christmas once again, hope Santa paws treated all you dogs well, and I didn't get that monkey. O well. I'm still waitin'. Y'all be good now.

 

Reba the dog.

 

Bad day, and how to make your human look stupid

Hey again folks.
So in all the excitement of the changes in my life I forgot to tell you all about my bad day. I got yelled at so much! First my April literally lifted me in the air for gettin' in the trash. Excuse me for sniffin'! There was no need for her to do that. And then my Karen', good grief from the time I got in the room it was, "Reba sit! Reba come! Reba lay down! Reba stay! Reba nanananana!" Goodness! I was so offended at the bunch of them all day. Absolutely uncalled for behavior. Leave me alone I mean it!
Now for my second part. How to make your human look dumb.
Ok so me and my mom are in a store with dad right, and I decided to totally make mom look dumb cuz it's funny and she can't do nothin' about it. So dad goes to leave the store, I'm followin' him just like I should, when at the last second, before goin' out, I turn sharply. Well mom thinks Dad's going that way so she just follows me, trustin' that I'm still followin' dad. So I'm trottin' along, down some random isle, and the key here is to pull just hard enough so your human thinks you know what you're doin' and where you're goin'. Works every time, dad finally calls my mom and she turns around all confused. It was great. I'm laughin' myself silly even now thinkin' about it. Bless the humans. Allright all, I'll post a christmas message soon. It'll be after Christmas, but o well y'all can just deal. Laters.

 

Reba the dog.