You gotta be kiddin' me!

Well, unfortunately, that title is anticlimactic cuz in the end, all is well again. But I'll tell the story anyway.

As I said on Sunday, I knew somethin' was up when my Karen gave me two apples. so yesterday mornin', see I was gunna write about this last night, but I was so worn out from the ordeal that I went to bed. Plus mom was pretty much dead to the world so I wasn't gunna ask her if I could borrow the computer. So Tuesday mornin' mom gets up while it's still dark outside. I blinked sleepily out at her from my crate while she got ready. What on earth ma! Shoot the only time she gets up that early is when we flyin' somewhere. I didn't see any suitcases though. So mom lets me out and feeds me. Cool! Hey any time I get food early is fine by me. Then we go outside and who's there? My Karen! Cool we goin' on a trip with my Karen. So after mom lets me go, we get in the car and off we go. Well all the sudden I realize somethin'. There's another girl in the car, and it be the same girl we took that day when my Karen took us out in the country somewhere and got completely lost just to end up back on campus again. Shoot! So I'm thinkin' we're goin' there again. Well no, we get out at this place I've never been too. We go inside, and immediately I'm lookin' for a way out. I smell kids. Lots and lots of them. Hundreds of them. Shoot ma! We gotta get outa here. They'll mob me! Well mom was calm as can be, so I figured, well I better just hunker down and deal with this. Kids! My Karen! I knew somethin' was up! So we go in to this room and sit in the back corner where I immediately started willing myself to become part of the wall or floor or whatever. That's when the looks started. My Karen! I can't believe this! Suddenly, the room started fillin' with kids. So far so good. Lots of stares, but they're stayin' away. Few. Ok, they all sittin' down, not too bad. Wow! These were well behaved kids. So a little while later, we get up and follow my Karen to another room where mom starts talkin' to about 60 kids about me. We did this 4 times y'all. Four! And my Karen set up chairs and stuff during each talk but she put them in my ma's way! What on earth! I went around them and I heard her call me a butthead! Excuse me! I am doin' my job here! I guess she wanted me to run my mom in to those things I don't know. Shoot! I remember doing these talks before with my mom and I was nervous because afterwards she usually takes the harness off and lets the kids pet me. 60 kids? All comin' at me? I don't think so. But she didn't. In one classroom I saw a little rat lookin' thing. Think he said he was a guiney pig. I wanted him bad. But not nearly as bad as the little rat dog I spotted in another classroom. A dog in the school, not even in harness! I mean it was the size of pebbles. Barkin' at me like it had somethin' to prove. Bring it little rat! Shoot ma! I wanna get that rat I don't wanna be in a down stay! Ma! Don't go in there and leave me in the hallway! Unbelievable! That's what happened too. Mom and my Karen went in to the room for a while, and just left me outside the door. Shoot. But I have to say I'm glad I stayed. I should have wandered off to the cafeteria. I smelled somethin' good cookin' there. But I stayed, and when mom came out, she had a carot for me. Cool! Guess it was worth it.

Well, after doing our talk and show four times, you can imagine I was pretty miffed. My looks at my Karen were growin' steadily worse throughout the day. At lunch she almost was demoted to just Karen when she actually tried to move me out of the way. Excuse me! I am in harness here! And after lunch mom took my harness off and sure enough the kids started coming to pet me. I was ok till they started tryin' to hug me and gettin' all up in my face! Ok leave me alone! I kept tryin' to hide under my mom's chair. And just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse, and that I had the worst lot ever for a service dog, my Karen pulls out an apple. O man everything was forgotten then. I was all wigglin' tail then. And she made me do my tricks for it too. Shoot ain't I been through enough today? Just give me the dumb apple! I had already been out on the playground and couldn't even find any dropped cheezits or nothin'! You dogs know, a kids playground is a prime place for dropped goodies! Well after that, I finally got some much needed sleep. I spralled out on the floor for a nice long well deserved nap. Mom let the kids say goodbye to me one last time, I didn't pay much attention. I was so tired. I just wanted home and my crate, and a whole bag of dog food. Then I saw her. The girl My Karen took out in the middle of the country. Think her name is Jenny. Anyways, she came in and I knew it was finally time to go. I got up and wagged my tail. Finally! Take me outa here!

So, now you see why I am exhausted and it took me so long to talk about this. Shoot! It was good though. I was a good girl for mom and she was really proud of me. And all in all, it wasn't a bad experience. I even got a carot and an apple, and got to mess with the guiney pig. I found out later his name was Max and when I tried to sniff him, he threatened to bite my whole face right off. Shoot. I'd like to see him try that. You all behave yourselves, I'm signin' out for now.

Reba the dog.O

 by the way ma, happy birthday. I know it was yesterday, but I slept most of yesterday afternoon and evening, and you didn't have the computer out anyways.

 

Somethin's up

Hey there everybody,

Well, as you can see by the title here, somethin's gunna happen this week. I don't know when. All I know is my Karen gave me two apples today. Now I ain't complainin', I'll eat a whole tree of apples, but she said somethin' to me, and all I got was kids. Kids? Excuse me? I don't do well with kids. Shoot what they gunna put me through now. I'll be sure to let you all know.

O and Matilda, I'm seriously gunna beat you up! Y'all, we were at a restaurant on Saturday, My Rachel dropped a piece of bacon on Matilda. What did the fool lab do? Nothin'! No response whatsoever! Shoot! I told Winston to reach over and get that piece of bacon for me since she was across the table from me. He wouldn't do it though. Said that was bad or somethin'. Shoot! Matilda for real! Are you a lab or not!

Mom stepped on me like four times today. I'm serious! She was changin' and I was layin' on Matilda's bed, and she just kept steppin' on my foot. Ma! I am here! I been here the whole time can't you remember that my word! She apologized profusely and I know it was an accident, but my goodness!

Other than that, mom and I had our usual fight when we are in a meeting of any kind. Me wantin' to lay far away, and her wantin' me close, but not so close that I croud her foot room. See ma, just let me spread out in the isle. You get all the foot room you need, and I can lay where I want.

Ok everyone, I'll post later when I figure out why my Karen gave me two apples today. I mean it somethin' is up. Behave out there.

Reba the dog.

 

I can't stand airports!

Hi everybody.

Well, first of all, we're back in Greenville now. I'm excited about this because I'm in my crate again which I missed a lot. Though sleepin' with mom was pretty cool. I'm still surprised she let me on the bed. And I was good too. Didn't make one mess.

Second I have to thank my Karen. She rescued me from the aweful horrible airport. Man I hate them! All they do is stress me out, I don't get food or water so that I won't make a mess in them, and after landing, my ears feel so funny! I cry all through the place till I get outside at last. We got in tonight and I was absolutely starvin'! I didn't get breakfast, and I knew mom had food in her backpack for me. Break it out mom! O no, she waits till we get back home. But, my Karen saved me from that aweful place. Hopefully I'm done with airports for a long long time now. I say that every time. My Karen stopped at a store so my mom could pick up a few things. The weird part is, mom packed a suitcase, but she doesn't have it. That I don't understand. Humans are so strange. I got to see my Winston too. He was wantin' to play right there in the car. Didn't know he missed me that much.

This is sort of a short borin' entry, but I just wanted to update my readers on the fact that I'm back home, and to emphasise the fact that I really really don't like airports. And I don't like those carts that beep and drive through the airport either. Whoever heard of cars that drive inside! I tried to jump off one. Mom was havin' a huge fight with me tryin' to get me to stay put. Finally, I figured it was no use to try anymore. I

'm headed off to bed now. It's been a long day for this lab. Oo and finally, I'll start gettin' cookies before I go to bed again. Sweet! Talk to y'all later.

Reba the dog.

 

I want a new master

Ok all, that title sort of suggests that I want a new mom, but actually, she really doesn't have much to do with this rant. Maybe it should be, I want a new family.

Ok so the last few days, mom's been goin' to these meetin's. Long, borin' stretches of endless dronin' on and on and on. She enjoyed herself, me, well I got lots of sleepin' in that's for sure. I'm super annoyed though because of how I'm treated during these meetin's. Mom tells me to lay down, so I do. Well, as the meetin' progresses, I start to spread out. And I scoot farther away from mom. Why? Well number 1 I have a reputation to uphold and I don't really have any desire to be that close to my mom. Number 2, I get stepped on more easily when I'm right next to her. But does mom think of this? No! And my Dasher mom ain't no help. She'll lean over and tell my mom, "You might wanna pull Reba in closer she's way out there." O no! I think, Next thing I know, I'm goin' for an unwanted ride across the floor. Sometimes this ride happens when I'm dead asleep and not expectin' it! Shoot ma! I ain't a sack of grain! And that harness ain't a handle you can use to just yank me around with! I mean it! She did that so much to me this weekend. Includin' just this mornin'. So what do I do? Well, I do what any self respecting stubborn lab with attitude should do. I shoot a few glares in mom's direction, make sure to send some to my Dasher mom too, and I move away again. Then mom and I have a battle of, I want you here, stay! And no ma! I wanna be over here leave me alone! Well in the end we compremise with me bein' somewhere in the middle. Not as far away as I was, but not quite as close as mom would like. All the while, I'm also shootin' pleedin' looks at the folks around us. Please, I want a new home! This ain't fair. This mornin', the humans go to stand, and my Dasher mom stepped on my ear! Aow! Shoot! Does no one see why I try to stay far away from humans feet? So I was quite miffed needless to say. I ended up alternatin' between looks of annoyance, to looks of, someone please take me away and feed me bags and bags of food. I know it was an accident. Humans don't mean to hurt us dogs, but I do wish they'd quit with the battles they start with where I'm supposed to lay. They say I'm in people's way. Too bad! Go around me I ain't that big shoot!

Well, that's my rant. Other than that, things have been great. My Dasher dad, he gave me a carrot the other day. Sweet! Now he ain't just Dasher dad, he my Dasher dad! Me and the rat are gettin' along fine. Once we established grounds the first few days, we been fine ever since. Still can't figure out how she gets so much people food. Though I been gettin' apples and carrots a lot this week. But that Rat gets chicken and beef and stuff! Dasher got really sick cuz he was sneakin' some of it too. Dude he was sick for 2 or 3 days. I got some of the rats food too, and it was loaded with stuff I'm alergic to. O well. I already got an ear infection, I should be able to eat what I want when I get one of those. Like I said, things have been quiet round here. Mom and my Dasher mom went shopping one day, and I was good workin' in the store. Accept mom slammed her face in to one of those racks that clothes hang on, I cringed cuz I thought she was gunna pop me, and she almost did, then she realized it was her own dumb butt falt cuz she wasn't holdin' my handle. I guess I better go now, I'm currently lyin' on the nice cool wood floor hoggin' one of the air vents. O yeh, life's good. Go away Dasher! Go find your own vent. What are you lookin' at rat. Y'all behave yourselves, I'll be back soon.

Reba the dog.

 

One more thing

I know, I know, I just posted, but I forgot a story. Don't think I've ever posted twice in one day. I'll blame it on the fact that I was hungry. Weak with hunger actually. Mom just fed me and now I'm thinkin' more clearly.

So yesterday, at one of the many stores we went to, I'm serious y'all the stores we went too all looked the same. In fact, I saw my Dasher mom lookin' at the same stuff in different stores. Anyways, my Dasher mom must have asked my mom to look for somethin' cuz she started diggin' through this huge bin of stuff. My Dasher mom moved off somewhere lookin' at other stuff. Well I'm just standin' there, mindin' my own when all the sudden I look up, and the whole huge bin starts fallin'. I mean the whole thing come tumblin' down on my head practically. Excuse me! So I'm tryin' to get out of the line of fire, as lip stick, mirrors, other tiny bottles of stuff is just rolin' everywhere. So my next thought was, that wasn't me. Shoot they're gunna think I'm a horrible guide and I ran my mom in to this thing. So I start backin' out of there. No way! That was not me. I had nothin' to do with that, that was purely the clutzlike behavior of my lunatic of a mother! Someone came along to help pick everything up and noticed me backed way up against the wall. Thankfully mom dropped my leash so I was able to slink as far away from the situation as possible. The guy goes, "Don't forget your dog." Yeh you better not forget me ma! Shoot you already did that once. I was a good girl too. So that was my other story. Mom is so embarrassin' sometimes. Ok really going now. Be good.

Reba the dog.

 

Happenings at home

Hey everybody,

I said I'd be back to update so here I be. Ok do y'all know how much stuff humans buy and shop for? I was out with my mom and my Dasher mom yesterday and they went to so many stores just lookin' around at all the stuff, buyin' this and that, they got something in each store. Why couldn't they just get it all in one? They also went to a mall. Well I was gettin' bored thinkin' o shoot. My Dasher mom's probably gunna stick my mom in a room and have her try on lots and lots of clothes. But no, instead, we went up an escalator and in to the movie theater. I'm like su'weet! There's pop corn all over this place. I'm gunna score big. Unfortunately not though cuz someone cleaned the place and where we sat there was absolutely no pop corn on the floor. Shoot! I couldn't even take a nice nap during the movie because it kept makin' me jump. I looked up and mom and my Dasher mom are like freekin' out about it. Shoot why see it if it's gunna scare you to death? Some humans.

That was basically the busiest day so far since bein' here. My April and Winston went home on Sunday, I thought for sure mom was gunna get me on a plane again, but we were just droppin' off my April and Winston.

Now to the next item of business. Again, I will never ever understand humans. Do you know, a few days ago, they went to a parkin' lot, got out, talked to a man, then the man opened a car and they got in it and drove away. I ain't lyin'! They took off leaving Winston and me in the truck. And when they came back, they did the same with a few other cars. I'm like, what they be gettin' in other people's cars for? I didn't think they were comin' back. But they did, and I was so confused. Winston thought they might be shopping for a new vehicle. I looked at him like, you gotta be kiddin' me! Humans even shop for other vehicles? What be wrong with the ones they have? I don't get it.

Anyways, other than that, it's been rain' for several days now. I've spent ore time gettin' my feet wiped from the muddy back yard than I have beggin' for food. Come on ma! I'm missin' quality opportunities here! Life's just been sort of normal round here. As normal as it can be with the rat around. She still gets to eat whatever she wants. What in the world! I'm mad I mean it! My Dasher mom, every time she goes in the kitchen she gives that rat somethin'. Shoot what about me! I'm the one who's starvin' here. My mom redeemed herself by givin' me an apple today. I had to parade around the living room for a while to show that off. Cool! Look at me I got an apple! Mom's still lettin' me sleep with her in my April bed. That's sweet! So it's me and the rat. I think we've come to an understanding. I leave her alone for the most part. But I'm constantly shooting her jealous looks especially when she in there eatin' bits of pizza crust, and hunks of sausage. My ma! My own mother who yells at me if I even look at what she's eatin' I saw her hand Pebbles a bit of pizza crust. Shut up! Deep down I'm in awe though. I gotta have a serious talk with this rat. Find out her secrets. If she can get that kind of stuff out of the humans, I can do it too. Ok all, I'm startin' to ramble so I'll end this now. I'll be back in a few days. Hope all my readers are well and behavin' themselves.

Reba the dog.

 

Back home in Ohio

Hey everybody,

Well you would think that I wouldn't have much to say about bein' back in Ohio since I've only been here 24 hours, but boy are you wrong. I got a lot to say so hold on.

I'll start with the airport. Man people are dumb. Everything was goin' as normal, we got there, the workers took my mom's suitcase, her and I went through security, I was a good girl and came right to mom when she told me too. She took all my equipment off and I just ran right to her through the security thing. I was a good girl all the way to the gate even though I pulled and was excited! Well, we're waitin' to board the plane when all the sudden, some man makes an announcement, and mom leaves! We go all the way back downstairs like we're leaving the airport. For what? To do the whole process over again. Are you kiddin' me! Humans have lost their branes! So I behaved myself again, while we went through the same process. Then mom and I sat at our gate for a long long time waiting till we finally boarded a plane. I had to help my ma find the plane cuz some fool didn't help us out to it. Shoot those planes all look the same. So I finally found the right one, and we got settled. Poor mom wasn't feelin' too well. She was out of it for the first part of the flight. I was keepin' an eye on her.

Well, we finally landed and I started cryin' because for goodness sake I wanted out of airports! All they are is big confusing mazes! Even humans lose their almost non existent branes when in airports. So we finally get off the plane, and I'm immediately lookin' for my Dasher mom and dad. I don't see them anywhere and I'm cryin' because I, want, out of this airport! Well another woman comes to help us and y'all, I think she was the most confused human I've ever seen because for the next half hour or more she led us on a wild goose chase around the airport. She was lookin' for my mom's suit case, but she had another lady in a wheel chair she was helpin' and O my word! I thought we'd never get outa there! Finally, we did and mom fed me. It's about time ma! Shoot! Then I saw dad and got all excited.

When we got home, Another surprise was waitin' for me. Apparently my Dasher mom is watchin' this little, uh, dog Pebbles for a while. I hesitated there because as most of you know, I've met the worlds biggest dog and still wonder deep down if he a bear. Well this one is the smallest dog I've ever seen and I wonder if it's a rat. I call her rat actually. And she ain't nice either. She growls at Winston and me. O yeh, my Winston is here too. Why we didn't fly home together, I don't know, yet another idiocy of the humans I imagine. So, this little rat. Her bark is messed up. Her whole voice is messed up so she sounds halarious. Well I been laughin' at her the whole time. And her mannerisms are just so funny. I mean the only thing cool that I'm jealous of is she gets human food. My Dasher mom was just feedin' her all kinds of stuff. Dumb rat wouldn't eat it though. I'm over by the kitchen door yellin', me! Me! pick me I'll eat it! My Dasher mom look at me! I'm your starvin' black lab! Why ain't you workin' on my ma to feed me more!

Later in the day we all went to a baseball game. That was fun, I got in some good work. I was an awesome leaderdog for mom. She was so proud of me. Cuz I stayed right with our group, and even in a thick crowd too. I only was bad when we sat down cuz I was lookin' for dropped pop corn throughout the night. I found some too. Ha ha mom. We sat down at my seat and I took advantage of a lady sittin' in front of us. As mom was gettin' situated before getting me situated, I gave the lady a big kiss and scared her to death. Mom was really embarrassed. Well, the game was boring for me, and when it was over there were fireworks. I was good through those too. Just laid there watchin' them. We finally got to leave which was good cuz I had to go like no one's business! I guided mom through the crowd really well again, and she praised me up big time when we got to the truck and after she finally let me relieve.

I have a little ear infection again that mom noticed last night. She's takin' care of it though. I'm sorry ma!

O and I finally get to sleep in my April bed! She actually let me up! Cool! Accept it let me discover another weird fact about this rat or dog thing. She like to go under the covers. I mean, all the way to the foot of the bed. So she in there dreamin' or somethin' makin' weird noises so I go to sniff her, and she yells at me through the blankets. Woe excuse me! Hey it don't stop me none. It's now my mission in life to annoy her. Just because it's funny.

Well all, I think I'm all written out. I told you I had a lot to say I mean it. It's good to be back here. I'm sure I'll post later since we always do tons of stuff here. Until then, y'all behave yourselves.

Reba the dog.